Now, where shall I go with this? Shall I devote a whole blog in homage to Meg's electric blue headscarf she tastefully wore to Bill's funeral in episode 4 (I could you know!), spunky Steve Fawkner's boat building project (lucky old Meg when she got to share a beer with him on deck in the sunshine in episode 286...well I guess poor old Meg deserved some luck!) or perhaps as to why my lovely sailorman Marty Mark Three is one of my biggest Prisoner heroes?! *Swoon!*
We're getting warmer actually (I know I am with thoughts of Marty Mark Three and Spunky Steve!), because there's a bit of a clue in the title to this! I thought I'd take a look at that romp on the high seas that was the boat storyline around episodes 641 to 643! I hope you all know where the lifeboats are and you've got your sea legs because we may be in for a bumpy voyage! Anchors away then!
And so the storyline begins with Rita, Lurch & co arriving at the dock in a riot of pastel hues like an explosion in a Laura Ashley factory! I'm especially loving Nancy's lovely lilac dungarees! Hurrah for the 1980s! Actually, that's a good point, can you have a riot of pastels, or would it be more like a bit of a cross word?!
And so as the salty seadog of a Captain starts barking his orders to the motley crew, Lurch exclaims, "'Strewth, it's Captain Hook!" Captain Birdseye more like! Ooh, that fairly puts me in the mood for a fish finger!
Pre-empting this blog by 20-odd years, Rita fairly gets into the spirit of my 'Talk Like A Pirate' theme by hanging out of the wheelhouse and shouting random pirate phrases in that thigh-slapping Warrior way! "C'mon you lazy landlubbers! No slacking on my ship! Right, let's keelhaul her me hearties! Break out the yardarm! Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!" Okay Rita, you win my 'Talk Like A Pirate' prize for most piratical phrases you can squeeze into one smattering of dialogue! I like their jokey references to mutiny though, which prove to be a prescient taste of things to come...
I'm also loving Lorelei lugubriously peeling off her sweater and moaning about it being so hot when the Captain grouches at them to get off their backsides and start scrubbing, on a gunmetal grey Melbourne day with a Force 10 wind blowing a gale and the others (especially Joycie!) visibly bracing against the cold! How they suffered for their art!
There's more jolly japes below deck as the Captain takes a fancy to Lurch as she's working away in the galley (hark at me with all my nautical lingo!) and makes a pass at her as she's heading up the stairs! She did well to hang onto that teatray I'd say - I'd have sent it flying!
In saying that, I worked as a chambermaid in a hotel many moons ago and randy old businessmen were always doing that to me! It was like a bad Carry On film! I always said they should make a soap about life in a hotel, but then of course they already had - Crossroads!
Truth really is much, much stranger than fiction though, let me tell you! I have to admit that I didn't object when it was a Chippendale (a famous troupe of male strippers in the UK back in the day who stayed there once!)! I was so shocked that I nearly fell over the tangle of sheets I was whipping off his bed! No he wasn't in it at the time - I was only doing my chambermaid thing! Well really, you're all worse than me!
My Aunt Pingu I was telling you about a few blogs ago channelled Lurch and handled a similar situation much better than me a few years ago when we were in Llandudno in North Wales! For any people out there who dunno Llandudno, there's a big old headland at the side of the town called the Great Orme and there's a little tram thing that runs up it. The Welsh know what they're all about - they've got a similar set up over at their biggest mountain, Mount Snowdon! Nice thinking, Wales!
Anyway, Aunt Pingu (being a penguin of course!) only has little legs and was struggling to clamber up onto the tramcar, when from out of nowhere, the guard decided he would give her quite literally a helping hand by planting it right on her posterior and shoving her up onto it! I've got this mental image of the scene burned into my brain! Aunt Pingu hadn't had a thrill like that since she was sixteen years of age and often laughs about it to this day!
Anyway, I digress! (Plus ca change!) So that was the jolly old prelude to the main part of the boat storyline. Things pick up considerably on a dramatic front when they return to the boat after initially being set away due to an outbreak of Golden Staph in maternity back at the prison (that sounds like a breed of dog - fancy letting them run loose in a maternity ward!), because this time our gang have Joan Ferguson to keep them company!
I know this isn't the most popular storyline in the whole of Prisoner amongst the wider fanbase, but I actually quite enjoy it as something a bit out of the norm (I know I could say that again! And I don't know how Mr Barry got in on the act!) and in the shifting power play at work in the tension between Rita and Joan as things build to a crescendo.
One of the things I enjoyed about the character of Rita in that final year of Prisoner was the volatile energy and spirit she brought to the show, that potential for anything to happen at almost any minute, and I think this was so well harnessed in this premise of taking Rita and her arch adversary Joan out of their normal environment to a dangerous but equally claustrophobic new arena to exercise their animosity. And what an animosity!
Rita is basically baying for Joan's blood after learning some episodes before from Roach, her brother's girlfriend, that she was indirectly responsible for the death of her boyfriend Slasher in the gang warfare which was triggered by Joan torching her boyfriend's gang's hideout...if you're still following me! You might have to read that sentence a few times for it to make any sense, if any at all! Some of the twists and turns and intricacies of these plotlines though are something to behold!
Not a girl for half measures, she's already enacted some retribution on Joan for this, by burning down her house and dangling her over the edge of the prison roof (!!!), but then after her brother Bongo was captured and sent to Woodridge, Joan was able to retaliate by threatening a terrible accident might befall him if Rita or the gang were to cause her any further trouble.
Rita's next move had been thwarted for a time by an arrangement Joan had made with crime lord Harry Parker to stop them from any further reprisals against her, but after news breaks of his mysterious demise in police custody, Rita once again has free reign to enact her revenge. So here we are, with the only thing standing in her way now being moral guardian of the show at this point, Nancy McCormack.
I love the dynamic between Rita and Nancy, and how Nancy isn't afraid to stand up to Rita's superior physical strength, and indeed so often disarms her or at least throws her off balance by her moral courage, as frequently these 'quiet voice of reason' type of characters do the brawnier ones. Look at Lou Kelly's behaviour around Anita Selby (or Sister Selby Sewing Socks For Sailors, as I now like to call her - what a silly Lily!), just as another example off the top of my head.
Even just as an entree to this, before they even make it out onto the boat again and are discussing Rita's plans in their cell the night before, they have a telling little exchange (and a very typical one for their relationship in the show!). Seeing Rita still seething over what happened to Slasher as an indirect consequence of Joan's actions, Nancy mithers, "I know she's an evil woman and she deserves all she gets. I just can't bear to think of you suffering the consequences of someone like that if you go through with it."
However, Rita is unmoved, affirming, "Oh I'll go through with it! But don't worry Nancy, I'm going to work it so no-one knows who did it...There's a lot of water out there Nancy. A lot of accidents can happen..."
And so the ensuing action on the boat itself is peppered with such veiled and not so veiled threats against Joan, from, "You want to watch your step, the deck can get pretty slippery!" to, "Maybe we can go up on deck and talk about it...the winner gets to go for a swim with the sharks!" much later on in proceedings, and many more besides!
But what of Joan in all of this? Another thing I find quite compelling about this storyline is how she copes with being "a fish out of water". During their time on the boat, even from her very first encounter with the Captain onwards - "I give the orders on this ship madam!" - out of her usual domain of exercising discipline within the prison, she finds her authority continually challenged and often openly undermined or even completely ignored, across the board, by the crew, the women and even her fellow officers.
I really do love the chemistry between Rita and Joan as adversaries during Rita's run in the show. IMO, Rita's arrival in episode 585 really did bring a spark to proceedings and indeed a powerful enemy was something that the character of Joan had been crying out for from a dramatic standpoint since the sudden demise of Myra in episode 552.
And so given their turbulent history, even with, indeed especially with, Joan on the backfoot in this unstable environment, we're treated to some electric exchanges of death stares and flinty glares shooting between them as the boat storyline runs its course.
Things start to kick off as Rita sets her plan in motion, persuading Roach to sweet talk Marty's Navy oppo Mick (who's been left in charge of the boat after the Captain has been called away) into upping anchor from their moorings and setting sail. I love the chugging sound of those lovely old engines starting up. I was going to say you can almost smell the marine diesel but then I remembered that it's a steamboat! D'oh! I know, I'm getting worse!
Incidentally, talking of the good ship Wattle, it really is called that in real life and excitingly, if you follow the link to its official website at the bottom of the Wikipedia article, it's apparently now back in service and you can hire it for parties and wedding receptions and the like! Excitingness for a Prisoner fan! Well, one who enjoys the Wattle storyline or any link with the show, at any rate!
This cues one of the most extraordinary (and totally random!) sequences in the whole of Prisoner (amidst some stiff competition during the run of the series, I have to say!), where we're treated to extended footage of the boat chugging across the bay to the strains of The Blue Danube (you can't beat a popular classic!) which seems to go on for something like half an episode (although in reality is only about three minutes - I've told myself a million times not to exaggerate!). It's like something stuck onto the end of a newsreel from the 1950s - all that's missing is the jaunty tones of an impeccably enunciating commentator in the background!
Not that I mind a bit, because I'm all for something a little different, I love boats and The Blue Danube is one of my favourite pieces of music! In fact, I love boats so much that I was even in the Naval Reserve for a time! That sounds like a Simon and Garfunkel song but I really was!
Digressing from my digression, speaking of Simon and Garfunkel, one of my most spectacular song lyric mishearings was from their song The Boxer and that line, "Just a come on from the whores on Seventh Avenue..." I used to think it was "a come on from the horse on Seventh Avenue!"
Moving swiftly on (!!!), quite bizarrely we didn't have any boats! That would have fooled the enemy if they'd ever invaded, let me tell you! We did have a nice day out on a passing Fleet Tender once though!
I happened to be in it at the time of the last big fire brigade strike in the UK, when all these ancient army Green Goddess fire engines were pressed back into service, and some of them were based at my establishment. The main building and car park was at the bottom of a very steep hill, and I'm left with the image of these poor squaddies turning the air blue as they had to perform 50-point turns just to manoeuvre the machines out of the car park and then creak their way up the hill! We were always amazed that they ever reached the top without rolling back down again! I'm sure that half the fires had burned themselves out before they even made it onto the main road! Happy days though!
Anyway, veering my ramshackle train of thought back on track after that restful piece of music and random digression, speaking of the music I love the 'otherness' of the music used across these episodes, from the sea shanty stuff, to my Blue Danube (as if I wrote it! Sorry Mr Strauss!), to all the other incidental pieces during the course of this storyline. It's so un-Prisonerlike, but that's somehow fitting because although the basic premise is one that's explored many times in the show, the general feel (helped by the setting) of this storyline is so different, so I'll take my hat off to them...or I would if I were wearing one!
So after they set sail, as the officers have a heated debate about the situation, Lurch has found some fishing gear, prompting Nancy to ask her if she's got any bait. I love Rita's quip in response to this, "We could use the Freak. The sharks'll eat anything!" and Lurch's rejoinder, "Hey they wouldn't get their teeth into her!"
I also love that continuation of the mutiny motif in Rita's retort to Joan ordering them to swab the decks and polish the brass, "Aye aye, Captain Bligh!" So Rita makes a mutinous analogy while she's behaving mutinously! Neat!
Next up, after a bit of a contretemps between Joan and Marty above deck and Joan and Mick below deck over who is in charge while they're at sea (she's not having a good day!), the action accelerates another gear as Nancy asks Rita to distract (an incredibly inattentive!) Delia so she can carry on fishing, and so Rita does, by pushing her in! This is superb for the total suddenness of it! It comes out of nowhere!
Desiree Smith told quite a funny story about the filming of this in the fabulous DVD of the Prisoner Party held in Melbourne in February of this year:
"I'm frightened of deep water, but they had a stunt person who was quite tiny so they had to pad her up. She kept floating because she wouldn't sink, because she had so much padding on!"
Bless! Poor Delia! It's okay though, because just like the all-round superhero that he is (don't get me started on his bushfire bravery! "Don't worry, we won't!" cry all of you!), Marty Mark Three jumps in to rescue her!
Up in the wheelhouse, Lurch frets as to whether they'll be okay. Mick reassures her, "Sure, Marty's a good swimmer!" I'll say he is! Delia too for that matter! Olympic standard even given the distance they cover to shore in about two minutes! Their little old arms and legs must've been going like pistons! I love the slightly random TV Western/glossy American supersoap music played over this sequence too! As a bedraggled Marty and Delia emerge from the sea all dripping wet and puffing and panting, I'd like to pass comment on Marty in those shorts, but I'm trying to be more ladylike and not lower the tone of this blog any further!
Anyway, moving swiftly on (!!!) and back to the gang at sea, they've struck another couple of hitches as not only are the other two officers apart from Joan now out of the equation, both the boat and the radio have broken down! What a coincidence!
There's a bit of drama as Joan and Rita play cat and mouse on deck with Rita brandishing a hammer, but just as Rita's about to hit the nail on the head (so to speak!) and send Joan for the swim that needs no towel, Nancy intervenes in the nick of time! Running with my cat and mouse theme here, it's all a bit Tom & Jerry, but good fun all the same, IMO!
Things take a darker tone later on from this where we find Rita becoming even edgier and more belligerent after tanking into the firewater that they’ve found. After more verbal fencing between Joan and Rita, Rita’s attention is drawn to Mick’s flare gun. She comments, loadedly, “That’s a big gun you’ve got there! You could do a lot of damage with that!” Hello, sailor! Honestly, it’s not me who writes this you know! Channelling Lynn Warner, “I’m innocent and no-one believes me!"
So Mick tells them that he’s going to have to turn the deck lights off to save the battery and therefore he doesn’t want anyone up on deck unless he’s with them as it’s too dangerous. This prompts another pointed remark from Rita aimed at Joan, “Oh no, we don’t want no accidents. They’ll never find your body if you went overboard on a night like this…You need to go up top, you just let me know. I’ll make sure you’ll be alright…” Great stuff! Joan and Rita continue their glowering contest as Nancy furtively hides the knife out of harm’s way.
When they finally find themselves alone after the others have gone up on deck to see to a poorly Lurch, Joan warns, “I’ll deal with you when we get back to Wentworth, Connors.”
Rita replies, airily, “I’ve got this feeling we’re not going back…”
Joan spits, “You make me sick!” triggering an impassioned tirade from Rita, as she gives vent to all the raw pain and hatred that has been searing within her since Slasher’s death, against the focus of her vengeance for this:
“Yes I’m sick! I’m sick of you! Do you know what Slasher once said to me? He said never to trust scum that are too scared to laugh when they’re happy or cry when they’re sad. Yeah, my Slasher said that. He was a big, rough, tough, rowdy bugger and he could smell an evil bastard ten miles away. Well he’s dead and I’ll never forget him and I’ll never forget what mongrel killed him!”
And so the power play continues between Rita and Joan, with the balance leaning more in Rita’s favour in this alien environment, with Joan’s usual authority openly at question as she tries to order Roach against spending the night in the wheelhouse with Mick.
Rita challenges, “You wouldn’t be pushing around one of my pals would you?!”
Joan warns that she’ll spend a month in solitary if she disobeys her but Rita scorns, “I reckon it’s a free world right now…”
They then argue over whether the light should be kept on and Rita again points out that Joan isn’t in charge any more. However, she offers, “I tell you what. I’ll meet you halfway…” as she smashes the light with her hammer! Great stuff!
In this Mexican standoff between them, Joan appears unperturbed, assuring her, “I can wait, Connors…” but Rita counters, “So can I…” And so the tension ripples between them as they sit out the long, dark hours of the night.
Dawn breaks and Mick announces that they’ve drifted near to land, much to Joan’s satisfaction, concluding gleefully, “Well we just might be closer to Wentworth than we thought!” This leaves Rita unsettled that she might have missed her best chance to wreak her retribution against Joan.
Indeed, back up on deck Joan is revelling in the shift in the balance of power and being back in command, tearing into the women and Mick, their accomplice in all of this:
“You lot amaze me, you really do. (Addressing Mick) I’m going to see they throw the book at you! At the very least you’ll lose your ticket boy…and the rest of you have had your last laugh for quite a while too. It’s going to take the Governor about a month to read all these charges. Now get below and clean the sleeping quarters and report back here!”
I love how this scene is shot with them all clustered towards the prow of the boat and Joan at the front, as if they’re getting ready to re-enact that famous scene from Titanic with Jack and Rose, only if the whole boat were there and they all hated Kate Winslett’s character and wanted to shove her overboard!
Joan seethes sarcastically, in that wonderfully menacing way of hers, “Well Connors, now that we know what we really think of each other, we’re going to get along just fine!”
However, it’s not over yet as Mick points out to Roach that they’ve drifted a lot further than he thought they had and that although they’re near land, they’re a long way from civilisation. Roach passes this news to a delighted Rita who enthuses, “You little beauty! I’ve still got time! Look out Freak…if the tiger snakes don’t get you I will!”
When they finally decide that with the radio broken and the boat still out of action they’ll need to send someone for help, Mick refuses to leave the boat, so Joan says that she’ll go with the women in the dinghy, but the women, led by Rita, are for none of it as Rita points out in no uncertain terms, “If you think we’re gonna hack our way through the bush screaming for help just so you can lock us away again you gotta be crazy!” setting the seal on the mutiny.
After they’ve headed above deck, Nancy returns sheepishly back down worrying whether she’ll have enough supplies for her trek, but Joan is unimpressed by this show of concern:
“Is your conscience clear now? You make me sick McCormack! You are the worst kind of hypocrite! Now, you chose your side down here this morning, so you get back to them! Look, I do not expect to find a motel over the first hill, but I know the bush (I know one too! I’ve got a nice rosebush in my garden! Then there’s always George Bush & family, not that I know them personally, I hasten to add! Ho ho! I’m sorry, I can’t help myself!) and I know that there will be a farm or a track not too far away. Now you get up those stairs and help lower that dinghy!”
So Joan sets off for shore in her little rowing boat, with Rita swimming after her in hot (or should I say very wet!) pursuit. I quite like the way the tension is cranked up by the melodramatic music and nice shot of Joan reaching the beach, with the ‘Rita-cam’ showing her eye view from the water.
It must have been so exhausting filming these scenes! Indeed, Glenda Linscott recalled in her commentary with Lois Collinder for episode 692 on the DVDs:
“That was like, ‘Glenda can you dive into Port Phillip Bay and swim for four hours?! There might be sharks… Oh no you have to go in fully clothed! And can you swim over here into the camera and stop squinting?!’ – because I had to swim in towards the camera as the sun was setting or something.”
It all gets quite dramatic and exciting once everyone has reached the shore and Joan and Rita begin their ascent up the cliff face. I like how the footage of Nancy running along the beach is intercut with shots of hands and legs scrabbling up the cliff, heightening the drama of it all.
Back on the boat, our two lovebirds, Mick and Roach, are enjoying their time alone together. You know, when Mick asked her what her real name was I couldn’t remember what it was and from the way she squirmed embarrassedly and said she hated it I thought it was something really bad like Ermintrude or something! Sorry if your name is Ermintrude – I’m sure you’re a lovely person really!
That reminds me of a guy in work who always cracks us up because whenever he’s dealing with anyone on the phone with a really silly name he (not consciously, I hasten to add!) seems to say it ten decibels louder than normal and repeat it 12 million times during the conversation… “Well now HORATIO…!!!” (or whatever!)
But in Roach’s case it only turns out to be Rachel! Get a grip, girlie! It’s not that bad! Rachel’s quite a pretty name, IMHO!
There’s a really nice line from Roach as she tries to explain her lot to him, “You don’t know what it’s like being inside, Mick. The walls seem to crush everything that’s you…” Lovely writing!
She continues, “I have been so happy since I met you. I can’t lose you again, I can’t…” Aw…it would bring a tear to a glass eye!
Happily (or happily for incurable romantics like me!), Mick agrees, “Don’t worry, you’re not going back, because I don’t want to lose you either!” All say aah…or reach for your sickbuckets, depending on your disposition!
Ooh, but there’s literally high drama up the cliff as Nancy distracts Rita hot on the heels of the Freak, causing her to lose her footing and end up dangling over the edge of the cliff with her legs flailing for dear life! *Gasp!* What’s going to happen next?! Joan hesitates…what’s she going to do? Is she going to use this opportunity to dispatch her adversary once and for all? Will she walk away and leave her to her fate?
Or will her latent humanity get the better of her? For yes, deep within the complexity of the Freak and the bitterness of experience that has hardened her over the years, informing the many cruel and diabolical things she has done, there still does beat a heart capable of flashes of humanity belying the front that she projects most of the time, giving us a brief window on the person she might have been had fate (or the storyliners!) dealt her another hand.
Of course, the cynical might look at it rationally and say that there was no way the show could afford to lose Rita at this point (!), but it all makes for a compelling bit of drama and an interesting little twist in the dynamics between these two characters for all that, IMO!
And so, after that hesitation, the Freak bends to her destiny that will ultimately lay the path to her own downfall in that stunning climax to the show and saves her arch enemy. There’s even something of a truce between them in the immediate fallout from this moment as they show some concern for one another, Joan insisting that Rita stay with the others and Rita minding about Joan heading out into the bush. As she starts to set off, Rita calls after her, asking her the $64,000 question, “Ferguson? Why did you do it?”
Joan answers with feeling, the air heavy with all those acres of complicated subtext and backstory between them so far and still to come, “I don’t know…”
For my money, I think that’s a great little moment in Prisoner, and worth the whole of this storyline just for that.
We’re almost done, but not quite, as there are a few other loose ends to tie up. Back on the boat again, Roach gives Rita her place as top dog and her erstwhile boyfriend’s sister, and asks her if she can head off with Mick. Painfully acknowledging the dead end road that her brother is on, Rita gives her the go ahead.
Rita then reflects dryly on the deep irony of what has just happened over at the cliff, and indeed one of the things I think is so excellent about this storyline “I was going out there to kill her and she saves my life! Isn’t that a laugh?!”
In spite of this, she’s unrepentant though, resolving, “I don’t owe her nothing! Well maybe we’re square. I saved her life once…now she saved mine. Yeah, that’s all it is…we’re square.” For the time being! That’s what’s so entertaining about Rita and Joan’s grudgematch! You know that’s not going to last for long, especially once they’re back within the walls of Wentworth!
So Lurch, Rita and Nancy find themselves back on dry land again watching Roach and Mick sail off over the horizon to the land of happy ever after. Bless! Lurch comments, “Jeez, so much has happened today I’ve got a bloody headache!” I know the feeling!
Rita quips, “Well, don’t worry about it Lurch, solitary’ll get rid of it! Nothing ever happens there!”
Considering how they’ll most likely have about an hour before they’re picked up, Rita decides to make the most of it, “Well I don’t know about you girls but I’m going in for a swim!”
I can’t help but bask in the freedom of that moment as they all splash into the water. I can cope with all the darkness in Prisoner inherent in its very setting just for uplifting moments like this.
And so I think I’ll leave our gang to enjoy their fleeting liberty and weigh anchor as the Good Ship Lily sets sail in search of something else in Prisonerland to prattle about!
Before I do, rounding off my pirate theme, would you like to hear my favourite pirate joke that a guy completely randomly told me on a plane once?
Incidentally, this kind of madness seems to happen to me all the time! I was chatting away to a lady when I was up visiting one of my friends in hospital the other week and as we were talking away I was wondering why she was looking right into me, if you know what I mean. It turned out she thought she knew me but when she realised she didn’t she said, “Oh you must have one of those kind of faces!” Well really! How very dare she?!
Anyway, back to my pirate joke! Are you ready? *Drumroll!*
*Lily yo-ho-hos hysterically at own joke in the style of Judy Bryant, to a chorus of jeers and “Geroffs!” while ducking the rotten tomatoes being hurled her way!*
Lily: Why are pirates called pirates?
Anyone reading this: I don’t know, Lily. Why are pirates called pirates?
Lily: Because they AAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!
And on that note, it’s anchors away from me then for now, me hearties!
Meanwhile, Nancy’s in a lather about Rita’s pursuit of Joan and so persuades Lurch that they should go after them in the little inflatable raft. Once they’re in the water too, this cues a bit of comic relief with Nancy and Lurch fighting over the oars. They did well not to capsize the little thing! I quite like the split between Lurch and Nancy in all of this, with Lurch backing Rita up but Nancy trying to stop her getting her way.
No comments:
Post a Comment